What if I hadn't said yes?

Thinking back on that struggle I had about going to the Springs last April. Trying to tell Luann no, then reconsidering. What if I hadn’t said yes then? In those days at that Springs, I saw the birth of a beautiful sacred companionship on my spiritual journey. That time began the process of bringing out into the light things that had been in darkness. My feet were literally set on a new path to freedom and a deepening intimacy with the Lord.

What if I hadn’t said yes?

I’m seeing right now that every yes opens a door, every yes is a new opportunity, every yes is a step forward on the path the Lord has planned. I think I’ve tended to see them as isolated experiences, but now I’m understanding that in reality, they are stepping stones, one yes leading to the next opportunity.

My part is to say yes, to offer everything back to Him, and to follow His direction.

So what does this mean in practical application? I think it’s mainly a heart attitude. Ready, willing, available. And an ongoing attentiveness to His voice, to His Spirit. A heart set on practicing the presence of God, being in tune with His heart. Because if I’m living like that, I will know His faithfulness in guiding my every step.

--sent to Luann by a person at The Springs

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What a great time we had!

Over 20 women got together for a contemplative retreat - like Karen said, "this is not a "slumber party" type of women's retreat...This retreat is designed for you to be alone with the Lord." 

In the postings below are some of the comments you shared, and photos from our time together.

Thank you for coming and sharing your hearts with us!

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Silence isn't as scary as it first seems

The Springs Retreat is a time of solitude, a personal retreat to reconnect with God who is our best friend and the lover of our souls!  It is so much easier than I thought.

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Coming out of the Desert

"How did the Lord use this time in my life...Oh my!  How didn't he use this time!  I have been in a desert for a long time. I have been feeling abandoned and while many say they are my friends, I felt like I had lost my two friends that I know are my friends. I have had 4 close friends move away in less than a year. The Lord reminded me not just that I am loved but that He is my friend -- all others must come out of my relationship with Him.  I learned how wrong I have been and also I am seeing answers to struggles and choices regarding ministry and family. He showed me that I need to serve my family more than pleasing others."

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Word-less prayers

David Benner writes: "Only prayer can order a disordered inner life. While this may seem overly simplistic and possibly overly spiritual, it is absolutely true.

"Prayer sorts out our desires. Notice that I did not say that in prayer we are able to sort out our desires. No. The sorting work is God's, not ours. Our job is to sit in God's presence and allow God to purify our desires. If this does not seem practical enough, you have not spent enough time sitting in silence in God's presence. Words may be coming between you and God.

"Silence in the presence of God belongs to the core of prayer. It deepens our awareness of both ourselves and God. For it is in the stillness of silent prayer that we learn what our own desires most truly are. It is here that God reveals us to ourselves. "Examine me and know my heart, probe me and know my thoughts" (Psalm 139:23) is not, as it appears, a request that God would know me but that God would show that known self to me. And where God does this most dependably is in silent prayer where we center ourselves in God."  (Desiring God's Will, Benner, p. 87)

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Longings of the Soul

From the thirteenth century Mechtchild of Magdeburg:

The soul speaks:
"God, you are my lover,
     My longing,
     My flowing stream,
     My sun,
     And I am your reflection."

God answers:
     "It is my nature that makes me love you often,
     For I am love itself.
     It is my longing that makes me love you intensely,
     For I yearn to be loved from the heart.
     It is my eternity that makes me love you long,
     For I have no end."

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Surrender to His Love

I've learned that openness to the Lord is our response to the longing that God places in our hearts. It is His gift to us. We come asking God to increase our awareness of Him.  We let the truth of His love be our meditation. "See how great a love the Father has lavished on us...."

Our prayer becomes a prayer of communion and attentiveness to the Lord...often we don't need words...we just enjoy being together with Him, in love, in response to His love.
The statues on the grounds can bring new life to familiar passages of Scripture. Mary, the mother of Jesus, is a beautiful example, "Be it done to me according to Thy Will." And at the end of the gospels, we read of her standing at the foot of her Son's Cross, undoubtedly brokenhearted.

Surrender can lead us through the valley of death...it can lead us to places we would rather not go...even Jesus prayed: "My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will."

When the love of the Father and the Son is our deepest longing, we are set free to experience God in the midst of our surrender to what He brings into our lives. We know there is a good purpose. We know He understands. We are not alone -- He is with us...even when we are confused and hurting. We can experience God in our grief and suffering if we open ourselves to Him.

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Freedom!

At The Springs, the Lord led me to release to Him all of the obligations and expectations of others that rule my life. He freed me from those! And he replaced those things/voices with His words of truth and love. He showed me how much He delights in me and gave me a beautiful image to hold onto of what it means to be His daughter. He helped me to begin my own "Dreams of a Lifetime" page. He filled me with peace and hope for the future."

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Meditations and Stretching

Christy thought she'd lead us in something new!  She put together a wonderful set of worship music that helped us meditate on Ephesian 3 while we stretched out our muscles.  It was a very powerful experience to be focused on the Lord and His Word while we stretched.

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How did the Lord use The Springs retreat in your life?

The Lord affirmed what he's been teaching me this year: that he is faithful, trustworthy and love in all his ways. I am precious, because I belong to him. He chose me! I am free to be who he is making me become.  I do not have to be afraid of the unknown and unfamiliar."

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God can be trusted because He is good and He loves us!

From Psalm 84: "How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!

   My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord;

   my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.
Blessed are those who strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere;

 We come away and enjoy reading His Word and letting it touch our innermost places.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6) 

I loved contemplating these words of Jesus as I listened to the birds singing in the trees. I watched them feast on the berries, singing to their hearts' delight for a long time. "Look at the birds of the air..." The Lord used these words of Jesus and the birds to deepen my confidence in the trustworthiness of His care for me.

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Refreshed in the arms of Jesus

"The Lord used The Springs retreat to refresh and heal my soul and wrap me in the arms of Jesus."

"Of course, I had my plan and brought lots of books and materials, but He had His perfect plan for me--  After I spent a while on my own plan and a brief nap, He sent me outside to view His creation. I walked on the grounds for several hours and sat and visited with Him while the warm sun shone upon me, but best of all--there was a gentle, cool breeze that gently touched my face and it was as if the Savior Himself was gently caressing my cheeks. What a gift! He shows me daily how much He loves me, but it take me slowing down and waiting on Him!  Thank you for this special time with the Lord!"

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A few more spots available for Nov. 10-12, 2010

If you are thinking about coming to The Springs this fall -- Now's the time to register.

Please go to http://www.newim.com/ to register and send an email to Darlene Derby.

We look forward to seeing you there!

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Time to Draw Near to God

"In my nearly fifty years of living as a Christian, I have never seen the soul's thirst for God more talked about, more recognized as a vital motivation in the human personality or more strongly experienced as a consuming passion. Perhaps a revolution is underway, a revolution of the Spirit that is about to shift our core energies away from arranging life to make it as satisfying as possible to drawing near to God." (Larry Crabb, in Sacred Companions.)

The Springs Retreat is designed to give each woman time to draw near to God. We have found that if we get away from the stuff of our lives and intentionally open ourselves to the Lord, His Spirit refreshes our soul, and we are changed.

If your soul is thirsting for God -- join us at The Springs!  Our prayer is that by the time we go home, we "will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail" (Isaiah 58:11).  As Jesus told the woman at the well, her soul's thirst could be quenched by Him - she just had to ask (John 4).

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Respond to the Invitation of God

Its seems that we all long for a deep, personal encounter with Perfect Love. Talking about it is easy. Actually coming to develop this kind of a relationship with the invisible God doesn't happen automatically for anyone. It demands sufficient basking in His Presence so that being deeply loved becomes the foundation of our identity in Christ.

Photo by Luann - Hume Lake, August 2010

Come with other evangelical Christian women who serve as leaders in a wide variety of ministries to a retreat specifically designed to lead us into the Presence of God where we can bask in His Love. At The Springs retreat our focus will be to experientially come to know the Love of God for us in a deeply transformational way.

If you sense a deep desire within to come, but then "What Ifs?" and fears take over, capture your worries and concerns in an email and send it to Luann or Marty. LuannBudd@sbcglobal.net or marty.russell@biola.edu. We'd be glad to discuss them with you. But if as you are reading this, you recognize that your spirit is responding to the call of God's Spirit to lay aside all of your external work for a few days so that your heart can fall more deeply in love with Jesus, don't wait. Come.

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Our souls find rest in God alone

I'm amazed at how the words of this old hymn express so completely the truths that are as alive today as they were centuries ago.  Part of what is so wonderful about getting away for an extended time with God is the opportunity that we receive to still our souls before the Lord.  It's like having a chance to go to the ocean to contemplate how the Lord has its vast expanse in the palm of His hand -- Everything is under His control:

Photo by Luann from Baker's Beach, San Francisco, CA

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
Leave to your God to order and provide;
In every change God faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
To guide the future, as in ages past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
The Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
When we shall be forever with the Lord,
When disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
All safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

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Horse Camps for Girls

A note sent to Luann:  Coming away from The Springs in April, I found freedom to follow a vision that God has laid on my husband and my hearts this year. We want to use horses to share the Word of God and just minister to everyone through horses and ranching. That's a very simple way of putting all we feel He's leading us to.

I've always wanted to do something like this, but last year we came to the conclusion that maybe we needed to get rid of our horses. We wanted to be in His service and felt that the horses were keeping us from connecting with people and sharing Him with those around us.

This spring I felt a strong desire to have horse campus for girls. I prayed about it myself and asked 7 other ladies to pray with me for 40 days. God gave my husband a vision to expand this into marriages and ministering to men -- his passion. I was never expecting this, but that's how God works! So this summer we will be leading horse campus to teach girls who they are in Christ and how He sees them. The first camp is for girls going into 5th grade through 8th grade. The second will be for high school girls and up.

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Thoughts from someone who came to The Springs

There have been so many God moments in the last few months, it's amazing! One of them was my time at The Springs.

A friend of mine encouraged me to attend The Springs. She told me to come expecting nothing and just see what God did. Well, I kind of did that. Prior to going, I really felt like God was preparing my heart to have some wounds of mine healed that I've been struggling with. God has grown me immeasurably over the last few years, in finding that I have value, worth, meaning, acceptance, and a purpose in Him. While He has healed me and taught me about myself in many ways, there was a new "layer" of me to work on.

I was struggling with comparing myself to others in one of my areas of weakness and feeling very inferior. It was also causing much resentment and bitterness to spring up in me as a result. I really didn't want this to take hold in me. While at The Springs, He confirmed to me that I was His Beloved whom He'd chosen and had a plan for. That yes, He'd made me with these weaknesses, but He loved me even with them. He showed me that I was His perfect and wonderful creation. (Yes, I still do need to work on my flaws, but they do note need to define my value, worth, acceptance, or me.) He told me that I was just as He'd made me. This released me to be me, and oddly emough, it released me from the bitterness and resentment that was forming. When I went home and felt that I was being judged by that weakness, I could say, Lord, you told me I was your beloved and you care about me, and You have made me according to your plan.

The Springs was nothing like I'd ever experienced before, and better than anything that I had experienced.

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Grateful Beyond Words

The Springs retreat is simply a tool, a powerful tool that the Lord uses to draw us into His heart of love.

The Springs is a time to come away and spend time with Him, in a safe place with trusted women, with everything focused on the Lord. The Springs creates an environment for God's transforming love. There have been times that I've gone to the Springs, and simply needed physical rest, and a refocusing on the Lord through worship and His word. He knows us so intimately, knows our needs better than we do, and He alone is able to truly meet those needs.

And although the Springs is an actual event, the principles it has taught me go far beyond the time spent there. I now know that I must be intentional in setting aside times to completely focus on the Lord, to come before Him just as I am, to love Him and experience His love for me. Aside from daily devotional times, Bible studies, and prayer, there is something unique in making a time to completely and simply be in His presence.

As I write this, I'm taking a day to simply rest and be refreshed by the Lord. The past weeks have been a whirlwind of busyness, and I knew He was calling me to a day of rest. Once again, He has met me in a way that I don't think is possible without coming apart for a time alone.

I am grateful beyond words for the ministry of the Springs. Thank You, Lord.

(sent to Luann by a retreat past retreat participant)

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From a woman who attended the Springs North in April

How grateful I am for my time at the Springs.

To be honest, I went this time without any great expectations. I was at one of my lowest points, and could see no way out of some circumstances. No one knew what I was going through; I was actively serving in ministry, very busy and involved. But the Lord knew my deepest needs and what I experienced was a truly life-changing encounter with Him. A series of events that I never could have orchestrated. He had called me to come away with Him, and my simple Yes of obedience opened the door to transformation. During those 3 days, He would answer a heart's cry that had almost grown hopeless.

With all the distractions of life removed for a moment, and embraced by His loving presence, I was finally able to stop and honestly look at my life, in all of its mess and need. Step by step He broke through my calloused heart, brought incredible healing, gently led me to a place of acknowledging my sins, in all their ugliness, and receiving the cleansing that only He could do. He started me on a path of discovering true and complete freedom, a freedom that has only come from experiencing His incredible, infinite, intimate love for me.

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Vast, Immeasurable, Boundless, Amazing

"Regardless of what you have come to believe about God based on your life experience, the truth is that when God thinks of you, love swells in his heart and a smile comes to his face. God bursts with love for humans. He is far from being emotionally uninvolved with his creation. God's bias toward us is strong, persistent and positive. The Christian God chooses to be known as Love, and that love pervades every aspect of God's relationship with us."

(Surrender to Love, David Benner)

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Journaling

I read this in Surrender to Love by David Benner:

Imagine God thinking about you. What do you assume God feels when you come to mind?

I decided to journal for a while.


There's a lot of good information about journaling at www.journalkeeping.org

These books are helpful as well:
Journal Keeping -- Writing for Spiritual Growth by Luann Budd
Journaling as a Spiritual Practice -- Encountering God Through Attentive Writing by Helen Cepero

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A gorgeous retreat at Three Rivers-photos by LouAnn Christie

After quite a rain storm, the sun came out and what glorious weather we had for our retreat!

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Some Photos by LouAnn Christie

Elaine -telling us about the Oasis dvd.
The Cross
Roses and journals
Darlene
Betsy - our worship leader

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