Chapel at St. Anthony's

Martha writes: "I thought you might enjoy seeing these photos I took inside the Chapel at St. Anthony Retreat Center. I thought the mural was magnificent, especially with all of its symbolism."

"Two weeks have passed already since we were all together at the Springs Retreat! The retreat was all I had hoped for, and more! I would like to express my appreciation to each one of you for the countless hours you spent in planning, preparing and praying for, and then facilitating, the retreat. I learned so much from every one of you. I'm grateful for this time, set apart, that I got to share with you and the other women on the retreat. I was blessed by the experience of being on the retreat and want to thank you all." -- Martha Deal

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Wild Turkeys came too!

Twenty-two women gathered at St. Anthony's, 30 miles east of Visalia last week, for a wonderful retreat. The weather was beautiful. ..in the 70s, cold nights and warm days. The Sierras were snow-covered and gorgeous. The grounds spectacular as the fall colors were just beginning to appear.

Thursday morning a flock of wild turkeys joined us! That was pretty fun. Our community quilt was such a rich resource of stories about the faithfulness of God -- story after story was shared of how God taught us to pray from "Now I lay me down to sleep" prayers to the prayers that sustained us through difficult times.

"The faithfulness of God," Elaine shared, "was so evident as I reflected on what the Lord has done in my life in the area of prayer. It all begins and ends with His faithfulness."

This photo is high resolution - so it can be downloaded and printed.

Women came from Pasadena, Bakersfield, Fresno, Oakdale, San Jose to spend time being with the Lord. Scotty joined us from Kentucky! Josie lives in Kiev and was able to join as well. What a great time! I'm looking forward to April 29-May 1, 2009 already!

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NET Bible

I've been looking for a new Bible for almost a year and I just found one that I really like. It's the New English Translation (NET) available free online if you want to download and print the text yourself -- or you can buy the Reader's Edition for about $50 in genuine leather, with great satellite maps, a very readable font, and companion CD with all kinds of information. There are a few notes at the bottom of each page but not a lot -- I like that for devotional reading. I can go online and get all of the notes (70,000) if I want more information. I also like their mission -- to get the 2 billion people who speak English around the world a free Bible they can download.

On their website http://www.bible.org/ they have a huge array of bible study resources and the free, downloadable NET Bible. Scholars are saying that it is the best phrase for phrase translation available today. I'm really enjoying it.

From Bible Study magazine, Nov&Dec 2008:
"the NET Bible was published in 2005...At times it is more accurate than the NASB, more readable than the NIV, and more elegant than either. It is clear and eloquent, while maintaining the meaning of the original. In addition, the notes are a genuine gold mine of information, unlike those found in any other translation. The NET aims to be gender-neutral. The NET Bible is the Bible behind the bibles. It's the one that many modern translators use to help them work through the original language and express their meaning in literate English. I would highly recommend that each English-speaking Christian put this Bible on their shopping list." Dan Wallace, professor of New Testament Studies and Greek at Dallas Theological Seminary and founder of the Center for Study of New Testament Manuscripts which offers free images of New Testament manuscripts online at http://www.csntm.org/.

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How do you keep hanging on?

Betsy writes (as she finishes chemo and looks forward to a month of radiation treatment): I can see a large hill between me and the end of 2008. My great hope is a promise God made me that " I will finish well." I am hoping that what He meant by this is that we will discover in January that the cancer is licked and that the path to healing and restoration will be unhindered. Is my hope mis-guided? I hope not. One thing I know for certain: He is faithful and keeps all His promises, even when we don't understand it all, and even when we don't get it all right. He does! He is good all the time and His unfailing love lasts forever! This truth about the nature of God has become a cornerstone for my faith. Even when everything around us is unsteady, God does not change. If He is completely good and loves us with unfailing love, then that means that He is willing and able to meet us in the smallest and the biggest needs we have. So the journey of faith continues... and I have to say, I'm glad it does!

How do we hang on through tremendously difficult circumstances? We put our trust in the truth found in Scripture about the character and the nature of God.

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Take back your Time

Aren't we always looking for more time, telling people how we have no time, using lack of time as an excuse for not doing all kinds of things including things we know we should?

A while ago I decided to stop talking about how busy I am. After all, I make the choices for how I spend the 24 hours that God has given to me...no one is making me busy except myself and no one, besides me, will give an account for how I spend my time. I've come to the conclusion that my days are full just like everyone's days are full and it's my choice. If I don't want to be so busy, I can do something about it--maybe not this week, but certainly in the next two or three months. I own my time.

No time is more profitably spent than the time I use to heighten the quality of my walk with God. If I think otherwise, I have been badly misled. The real question is, will I take time to do what is necessary for a vital, passionate life in Christ or will I try to get by without it? The testimony of hundred of folks down through the centuries testify to the truth that there is no substitute for time spent with the Lord.

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The Remedy

"Allowing service for Christ to steal our devotion to him is a radical failure in personal soul care. But it is one from which the practice of communing with Christ in times of solitude and silence can deliver us." (Willard, The Great Omission, 130)

How many times have we come to The Springs absolutely empty, poured out, exhausted...and how many times have we found that the rest and refreshment of time to take a nap, walk the trails, read our Bible, and simply be silent and alone with the Lord has completely restored us.

Silence, Solitude, and Time are a leaders best friends...they are essential to our soul care.

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Silence and Solitude

"In drawing aside for lengthy periods of time, we seek to rid ourselves of the corrosion of soul that accrues from constant interaction with others and the world around us. In this place of quiet communion, we discover again that we do have souls, that we indeed have inner beings to be nurtured. Then we begin to experience again the presence of God in the inner sanctuary, speaking to and interacting with us. We understand anew that God will not compete for our attention. We must arrange time for our communion with Him as we draw aside in solitude and silence." (Willard, The Great Omission, 130)

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The Sweet Spot

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." That's the goal of our lives and that's once of the fundamental purposes of The Springs. How do we live with passion for the Lord every day?

Passion seems to be about having a strong desire to see something happen. Passion is a feeling-- such a strong feeling that I act on it. Passion leads me to say, "yes," and fuels my days with energy, drive, vitality, growth.

I've never seen so clearly how essential it is to get my passion, my feelings and emotions, all lined up with what I know I want to do. When what my mind wants to do, or thinks I should do, is at odds with what I feel like doing, the chances my mind will win over time is slim. That's when life becomes hard. That's when I'm struggling and feeling the life drained out of me. I'm in a constant battle, feeling tempted, distracted. When I want to read my Bible, but feel like cleaning the house, will I read my Bible? Maybe. But not passionately. If I live for very long not feeling like engaging in spiritual things -- that's when I start having my "obligations" not my "devotions." I can live there -- but it's a tough spot. (I think this experience is more an experience of resistance, than an experience of "the desert" - when we feel like God's Presence has been withdrawn. The dynamics of the "dark night of the soul" are all different from what I'm thinking about in this reflection.)

Getting interested in some aspect of the Christian life (recently for me it has been learning how to share my faith using conversational approaches to evangelism) and exploring with increasing curiosity all aspects of something brings zest to my life.

I love exploring a question (what is the gospel?) or learning a new skill (graphic design). I never have all the time I wish I had to pursue it, which is a good thing, I think. It keeps me hungry for more.

When I believe God has called me to the task, then I am even more passionate to pursue it.

There is a sweet spot of vitality for me when my feelings, my call, and what I know I ought to do all converge. When I have a strong desire to pursue something, I believe that I have been called by God to accomplish it, and I know it's what I ought to do -- wow! I'm energized, passionate, sleeves-rolled-up and running.

How can I live with passion everyday? Getting to the sweet spot is key.

Someone wrote: "You only lose energy when life becomes dull in your mind. You don't have to be tired and bored. Get interested in something. Get absolutely enthralled in something. Throw yourself into it with abandon."

I think for me one of the keys to spiritual vitality is finding the sweet spot where curiosity, call, commitment all converge. It is possible to get our feelings aligned with our call and commitment so that we want to do what we need to do. By paying attention to my passion, and what makes me want to do something, I've discovered ways to approach my spiritual life so that rather than fighting myself and battling a sense of resistance, I'm wanting to do what I know I should.

Living in the sweet spot is just the opposite of ho-hum, business as usual, dull, routine, bored, going through the motions, tired, lukewarm. I love living in the sweet spot. It's worth spending time to figure out what help you to get there.

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Feelings and Desire

What role do our feelings play in our devotional life?

As I've been paying attention to my passion for the Lord every day, I am aware how much my "feelings" play a role in my spiritual life. We are so prone to do what we feel like. Our desires do lead us to the choices we make. There are mornings when I come to my desk for my quiet time and I feel like responding email, working on some work, cleaning my desk. Other days, I easily turn everything off and begin my devotional time.

I had no desire to do work this morning. I wanted to read and pray. That's what I felt like so that's what I did. A couple of weeks ago I was up against a deadline and I had a strong desire to finish my talk, and that made it nearly impossible for me to focus on my devotion. I tend to follow my desire, do what I feel like, and if I choose to go against my feelings, then it takes a whole lot of discipline and self-control.

So the easiest way to live would be to get my feelings, my desires, to be in line with what my good intentions are. If I intend to read my Bible and pray, and I have the desire to do that, for sure it will happen if it is at all possible. However, if I'm dieing to finish a project, I'm really enjoying working with a new software program, I'm up against a deadline, then I may be more driven to do my work than my devotion. So how do I get my feelings to line up with my good intentions?

Desire really is key to having passion and to determining how easily I'll give myself to do what I actually sit down and do. How do I direct my desires to help me grow in my love for Christ? Can I develop practices or exercises that will help me get my feelings and desires to pull me toward Jesus rather than compel me toward distractions and avoiding Him.

"There is only one big thing--desire. And before it, when it is big, all else is
little." Willa Cather

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Entering a Life of Worship

What is the chief end of man? What is the purpose of life? According to the Westminster Confession the answer is clear: To glorify God and enjoy him forever. As a young adult, I puzzled over what it meant to "glorify God," but as I've gotten older and continued to ponder it, I think that glorifying God has a lot to do with how I think about God, His Person, His character, His glory (Exodus 34) and how those thoughts draw me in to worship Him, and worship isn't to just be something that I do at church on Sunday morning, but to become a lifestyle, a 24/7 practice of my life.

What is the purpose of our lives? I think I would say, to live a life of worship. (Rom. 12:1-3)

Let the words of Christ dwell richly in you. Let the psalms and hymns and spiritual songs create an undertone of worship throughout our lives. Join in with the angels who are worshipping in heaven right now. "To the one seated on the throne and to the Lamb be blessing and honor and glory and might forever and ever." (Rev. 5:13) And let our love of God, our worship of Him, overflow into a life of compassion and mercy--loving others.

Willard writes: "Worship is the single most powerful force in completing and sustaining restoration of our whole beings to God. Nothing can inform, guide, and sustain pervasive and radiant goodness in a person other than the true vision of God and the worship that spontaneously arises from it. Then the power of the indwelling Christ flows from us to others."

Matt Redman in his book on worship encourages us to set apart something in our lives that will serve as a call to worship. That seemed like a wonderful idea. I've set apart the sunrise and for months now, every time a see the sunrise, it calls me to stop, turn my focus to the Lord, and worship him.

Worship isn't something that I have on my to-do list -- another chore. That's not the spirit of worship.

Worship overflows from my heart. Fill my heart, soul, mind with the words and thoughts and visions of God...pay attention to His fingerprints in my life, the wonderful points of grace, that I might be deeply grateful to Him for all He is doing and has done. Caring for my soul in these ways is my responsibility -- it's my responsibility to walk with God -- and when I do, love and worship overflow and transform me from the inside and overflow in love and mercy as I live out my worship in service and ministry.

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A Puritan test for our Love of God

Thoughts from Thomas Watson, a Puritan (I needed to read this 3-4 times before I got what he was saying):

The first fruit of love is the musing of the mind upon God. He who is in love, his thoughts are ever upon the object. He who loves God is ravished and transported with the contemplation of God.

"When I awake, I am still with thee" (Psalm 139:18).

The thoughts are as travelers in the mind. David's thoughts kept heaven-road. "I am still with Thee."

God is the treasure, and where the treasure is, there is the heart.

By this we may test our love to God: What are our thoughts most upon? Can we say we are ravished with delight when we think on God. Have our thoughts got wings? Are they fled aloft? Do we contemplate Christ and glory?

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Keeping the Lord before Us

One of the most essential practices of the spiritual life is to keep the Lord before us all of the time. David knew this: "I keep the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my soul rejoices; my body also rests secure" (Psalm 16:8-9).

So how do we do this? It takes practice. But the goal is to have our mind come to rest in the Lord, not in all of the other noise that occupies our thinking. Once we start paying attention to all of the things going on in our thoughts, we'll become aware of how little time we spend "keeping the Lord always before us." So the goal is to have our thoughts return to the Lord.

At the Springs, we have the time to quiet the inner noise. Sometimes it takes 24 hours of solitude before we can be fully present to the Lord. I've found some ways that help me to quiet the inner noise - things as simple as keeping a list so that my mind doesn't have to be continually reminding of things I don't want to forget.

Along with quieting the inner noise, we need to fill our minds with Jesus. We open ourselves to Him and direct our thinking toward Him. This is our goal. We can develop the habit of keeping the words of the Gospels in our minds by reading them carefully day by day, and re-reading them. We can memorize them. I find that when I am actively working on memorizing a passage, then I can recall it to mind throughout the day.

Keeping the Lord before us is a choice, a habit, a skill that we can practice and become better at. If we stick with it, keeping our mind focused on the Lord and at peace in Him, will become the default. Our minds will return to Him naturally, as a matter of habit.

Don't get discouraged. Take baby steps and you will find that keeping the Lord before you becomes such a gift.

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Only 6 spots left for the Springs!

If you are planning to join us in November, please email Darlene right away as there are only a few spots left.

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Is This Really Possible?

"It's God's intention that our lives should be a seamless manifestation of the fruit of the Spirit: "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control" (Gal. 5:22-23). God has made abundant provision for His indwelling our lives in the here and now. Appropriate attention to the care of our souls through His empowerment will yield this rich spiritual fruit ..." (Dallas Willard, The Great Omission, p. 125)

Is Willard serious? Can we really get to a place in our lives were we experience God's love and "walk in the way of love" (Eph 5:1, NASB) as Paul exhorts us? Is it really possible to experience joy from deep within that isn't shaken by our circumstances? Not a pretense of joy, but a true sense of well-being and hope in the Lord always. Yes, I guess it is possible: Jesus taught us to abide in God's love, like a branch remains with the vine, "so that His joy may be in us and that our joy may be complete." It must be possible to live in complete joy.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love." (Eph. 5:1 NIV)

"Living a life of love," "experiencing complete joy" -- not exactly the first characteristics that spring to mind as people outside of the church seek to describe us. Not exactly the first characteristics that spring to my mind either. Why is that? Why aren't we known by our love, joy, peace, patience...?

Maybe we're not paying enough attention to our interior life. For the fruit of the Spirit to naturally overflow in our lives, we must attend to matters of the heart: experiencing His Love and receiving His Grace. Spiritual exercises like Practicing the Presence of God and letting the Word of Christ richly dwell in us and spending time in solitude being with the Lord and experiencing His Divine Love are a few of the specific, practical exercises we can build into our lives that will help us abide in His love.

At The Springs, we take long periods of time to experience His Love and Grace in these kinds of specific ways. The retreat is not a vacation. It's not time for us to get away from it all. The retreat is for the specific purpose of being with the Lord. As we take the time to be with Him, and make these practices part of our daily life, we are able to stay connected with the Lord like branch is connected with the vine. Through living as Christ taught us we open ourselves to receiving His Grace so that we will exude in increasing measure the character of the Spirit of God and experience His life changing us from the inside out. At least that's the goal that the Lord Jesus has set before us. I think it would be good for us to take His charge to "walk by the Spirit" seriously.

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The Secret to the Spiritual Life

"The good tree," Jesus said, "bears good fruit." (Matthew 7:17)

Take care of the tree and it'll naturally produce good fruit. It makes no sense to start working on the fruit -- trying to make the apples sweeter, bigger, juicier. Take care of the tree, and you'll have good fruit.

Tend to my tree, and I'll produce good fruit.

Tend to my heart and I'll live a life of love, joy, peace, patience, generosity, self-control (Gal. 5:22-23). Is Jesus saying that if I tend to my heart, I'll be generous? If I tend to my heart, I'll experience self-control? Is that right?

I know that no amount of trying to be loving will make me loving. I can act as if I love you for a while, but that's not real love. Love has to come from within and flow out into my life. I can't be mad at you, and pretend "I'm fine, I'm happy, no problem" and call that love or joy or peace. It's not. It's pretending.

Good tree -- good fruit. Jesus is looking for us to be real. Authentic. Good fruit. No pretending.

How can we accomplish this? Jesus confirmed that all of the instruction in the Scriptures can be captured in the command, Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. Why is that? Because, if we tend to our hearts' devotion, we'll produce good fruit. The Springs retreat is all about learning how to tend to our hearts.

How do we live the spiritual life? How do we increasingly have our thoughts, attitudes, desires transformed so that we are authentically good? Love the Lord your God...

Don't work on fixing the fruit. Tend to the tree. Good tree--good fruit. Tend to your heart.

And the second commandment, "Love your neighbor as yourself."
First, tend to your heart -- Love the Lord your God. Then, in real, authentic ways, let the love of God overflow and in tangible ways...love others.

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Following

"I will follow you, but first let me go..." Lk 9:59, 61

I've always read this passage and been focused on why Jesus would have a problem with someone wanting to bury his father or taking the time to say good-by to his family. This morning what stood out to me was "First let me go..." Don't we always have something that we want to do first? Jesus, I'll follow, but first I need to send an email, clean the house, finish school, raise my kids. We can go through our life thinking we are following Jesus, writing books about following Jesus...but never actually following Him because there's always something that we need to do just now...then we'll follow.

Following Christ. Being on a Mission. Living with Passion -- all begin now. There's an urgency that can't be put off. First let me follow -- then everything else will be taken care of.

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Mountainside

"One of those days Jesus went out to

a mountainside

to pray,

and spent the night praying to God." Lk 6:12

Why do you think Jesus went out to a mountainside? Why not stay in the house? What did he enjoy about being outside all night? Did looking at the stars draw him closer to eternity?

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Our Hearts need Assistance

"Only the heart knows how to find what is precious."

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Is there a distinction between heart, will, spirit? Maybe philosophers can separate them, but in my experience, I think they are all words that refer to one and the same thing. Heart, will, spirit are all words that seek to express what is fundamental, the core components of all of us.

It is from our core (heart, will, spirit) that love for God arises and living in such a way that expresses our love for God takes shape. It is the formation of the core that will totally transform from the inside how I live and worship. So how do we open the door to our heart, to the core of our being, to the most fundamental aspect of who I am?

Maybe it just begins with a prayer of invitation -- welcoming the God of the universe to come in and form us. We are in desperate need.

For centuries spiritual people have known that we need to pay attention to our heart. It is who we are and leads us to what we will give our lives to pursue.

We tend to think that our heart is what it is. We tend to think that we have no control over it. But if it is our heart that leads us, then I need to pay attention to what my heart is feeling. I need to run to its assistance if it's becoming weary or I'm beginning to doubt. If I'm lacking the energy to initiate, create, pursue what I want, something is wrong. I shouldn't just press on and ignore my inner life. If a waste basket was on fire, I wouldn't shove it into the closet and go about my business. I'd drop everything to take care of that waste basket. It should be the same with my heart. If I'm growing cold, distracted, grumpy, I need to pay attention. Run to my heart's assistance. Talk to somebody. Reflect in my journal about what's going on.

Often, under all of the excuses and resistance, is a disappointment with God.

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Resistance

Why is living with passion for the Lord every day such a challenge?

Certainly having a rule of life that helps me to do what I want to do -- rather than pursue all of the things that call to me -- helps me to stay focused.

Having a prayer chair that is away from my computer helps. But if I get side-tracked and go to my desk -- why do I always need to do something (send an email, file a paper, put away a book, revise my website, prepare a Bible study, read a book, watch a video, write a note to a friend) all important, all "ministry" but none of it is really time with the Lord.

Over and over I find myself wrestling to sit down with the Lord and just be in His Presence and experience His grace and love and enjoy my relationship with Him. Today, cleaning up the bedroom, bathroom, my desk, the hall closet all called me. We have company coming. So what! Why am I so pulled everywhere else but to be with the Lord? Father, please forgive this wandering heart. I even exercised this morning! Why? Why do I resist?

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Our Purpose

Devotion.

Love of God.

Spiritually Formed.

Passionate.

Renovated.

It is the purposeful interaction, consideration and experience of the grace of God in Chrsit that transforms and shapes who I am, in the depth of my being, in my heart, in my inmost person,

so that I live everyday in his kingdom--richly,
so that in wonderful ways the Spirit is forming me,
so that I am being transformed to be like Christ,
to think and act and respond as He Himself does,
so that my focus is more on Christ,
so that I am becoming new, from the inside out.

Obedient

Submissive to Him

Dependent

Trusting

Conformed

because I am loved,
as I am ,
cared for, treasured, cherished,
sought simply because He loves me and wants me to be his
lover

his passionate lover, everyday.

"I am my beloveds and He is mine. His banner over me is love."
To know his love, to live in love--his love. Everyday.

This is our purpose.

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Call

"God calls you to the place where

your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet."

Frederick Buechner

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Love

St. Anthony's Retreat Center in November

"I urge you...by the mercy of God to present yourself a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God which is your spiritual act of worship."

How can we ever present our lives as holy to the Lord? It's only through spiritual transformation of our inner being that we can begin to live this verse of Scripture.

What is "spiritual transformation"? For the Christian, it is the Spirit-driven process of forming the inner world of the human heart in such a way that it becomes more and more like the inner being of Christ. The degree to which spiritual formation in Christ is successful, is the degree to which our outer life becomes a natural expression of Jesus' teachings. The quality of our character, how we choose to conduct ourselves in public and in private, how we react to adversity, these are all external expressions of our internal spiritual transformation.

But this is where it gets tricky.

Because, if the goal of spiritual formation is obedience to Christ, and obedience to Christ is defined in terms of external expressions: what we should do (pray) and what we shouldn't do (hate)--we have a serious problem. When external behavior is the focus, the whole process is corrupted by legalism. Legalism merely increases the kind of "righteousness" that the Pharisees had; it doesn't spiritually transform us. The Pharisees' righteousness was corrupt and unacceptable to God.

True righteousness is seen in obedience that arises from an inner transformation accomplished through purposive interaction with the grace of God in Christ. It's more than an obedience that is merely focused on our external life. In fact, the external manifestations of obedience are not the point at all.

What was so offensive to Jesus about the supposed righteousness of the Pharisees was that it did not arise from a true love for HIM. Their motives were not to love the Lord and live to please Him because they were so grateful for His mercy and grace. They were motivated to look good, to have their colleagues totally impressed with their acts of righteousness, to earn God's acceptance by their stellar behavior.

The motivation underlying our obedience matters to God.

God desires genuine transformation of who I am through and through -- a transformation that begins, I believe, with hours and months of coming to know in ever deepening ways the unfathomable love of God for me, personally. I believe that at the heart of Christian spiritual formation is knowledge of how much God loves me. True spiritual formation arises from knowing his love, and then allowing our lives to be a response to his love. We love him and want to obey him--humbly aware of our need for his love and mercy, but desiring to please him as an expression of our adoration and worship.

At the Springs, we experience spiritual transformation as we open ourselves to receive the love of God, listen to Him and respond.

Heart. Soul. Mind. Strength.

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Dedicate your life

"Dedicate your life to a cause greater than yourself,

and your life will become a glorious romance and adventure."

Mack Douglas

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Eyes on our Destination

Please pray for Betsy as she's battling with cancer. She writes: It's not too late for the miracle, but I Pet 5:10, which the Lord high-lighted for me this week, kinda leads me to believe that it's going to be a journey through chemo, rather than around it.

The only reason I can figure out is to encourage someone else. Jesus left glory, learned obedience through what He suffered, paid the ultimate price ( not even for His own well-being, but for ours). Actually if you'd like to take the route He took me through in my quiet time this morning, here it is: Ps 27:13,14; all of Ps.31; I Pet 4;12,19; I Pet5:6,7,10; Is 43:1-3a

If you come across other Scriptures or if you get an encouraging word from the Lord, I'd love to hear it.

My friend, and many of yours,Vikki, described to me what a kayak-er does as she comes upon white-water and rapids. She back-paddles for a few moments at the top of the rapids, scoping out the safest route through the course and the destination she wants to reach. She explained that if you keep your eyes on the white water, the eddies, the rocks, namely, the thing you fear, you'll go there every time. If you keep your eyes on your destination, you'll go there every time.

This graphic visual has been helping me take captive fearful thoughts. I know they won't help me if I think too long about them. Fear takes on a life of its own, and I usually lose if I let worries and fears go un-checked. Instead as I keep my eyes on Jesus, on the promises, on future good health and peaceful waters, I am able to stay calm and hopeful. Jesus did this too. Heb 12 tells us He endured the Cross, despising the shame, all because of the joy set before Him ( that would be us and Heaven and fellowship again with His Father ). So I'm copying Him! Or at least trying!

Thanks so much for being on the journey with me. It is strengthening to me in a very real way to know I'm not on this path alone.

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Devotion

Time to Contemplate the Cross and the Love of God

Everywhere you go there are reminders of the Cross,

God's demonstration of his love for us

"Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, Mind, Soul, Strength"
St. Augustine wrote: Decide to love God and do what you please because when you love God, then what you will want to do is what will please the One you love.

I know I've used this quote at The Springs, but because of my life experience this week, now I just want to say, "Maybe." Because even when I really am loving God, I can quickly want to do my Bible study preparation or work on a Christian project and totally ignore spending any time truly loving Him and experiencing his love for me.

Living passionately in love with the Lord everyday begins with putting up a hedge and not letting work creep into my devotional time. Writing on this blog, preparing a Bible discussion, working on the questions for the panel discussion for the Return Conference has a very different focus from devotional time. It's so tempting for me to give up spending time just being with the Lord and focused on loving him -- in order to work on ministry.

The focus of my quiet time is very different if my goal is to increase my devotion to the Lord. If devotion is my goal then I nurture my heartfelt love and a deep sense of gratitude for who God is and for the gifts he has blessed me with.

Devotion comes from knowing His love and choice of me, even in my brokenness.
Devotion comes from seeing the glory of the goodness of His character and focusing on His glory in wordless prayer.
Devotion comes from knowing He is with me -- filling the universe but also filling me, and being alongside of me as my companion.

When we focus our prayerful attention on these truths, we experience a love and adoration and passion for the Lord. When we don't -- we don't. My desk work in preparation for ministry does not nurture my devotion. It's amazing how in love I can be with the Lord, and then decide in the morning to work on some aspect of preparation, and then the next morning do some preparation, and before I know it...my whole devotional life is shot. I've reduced my relationship with the Lord to a business partnership. And it takes intentional work to regain my devotion.

Love God and spend time loving Him always throughout the day. Everyday. What a challenge to let work, even Christian work, come second.

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Passion. Every day

Passion for God. What does that mean? How do I nurture it? That's been the focus of my reflection for the last several weeks. I want to be passionate every day...not just sometimes, but every day.

"I dare you, while there is still time, to have a magnificent obsession." William Danforth

Can the Lord Jesus and advancing his kingdom on earth be my magnificent obsession? Passion for God involves love, desire, an internal motivation, being driven to do something, having an obsession, having something that I want to do, that I'm eager to do. Passion involves wanting to accomplish something, to giving my life to something. How can I have passion, how can I live passionately, every day?

Thirst. Emptiness, unquenched desire, longing -- all of these seem to me to be an invitation to passion. When I'm hungry and thirsty, that's when I get to the place where I realize that nothing I'm trying to do can really satisfy me, and I turn to Jesus. "Those who drink of the water that I will give them will never be thirsty again." (John 4:14a)

The Lord Jesus, when we come to Him thirsty, gives us the Spirit of God Himself. He is the refreshment we are desiring. He alone quenches my soul's restlessness and emptiness. He alone satisfies. I'm freed of emptiness. Freed from the ceaseless need to find something to satisfy me. Quenched. Well-watered. No longer driven to meet unsatisfied needs to be loved. The Holy Spirit is the river flowing from the center of my life and He turns my passion to find something to satisfy my deepest longings into a passion for Himself and a passion for advancing his kingdom on earth. He is to be the focus of my passion, and the source of my passion. Every day.

We know this, but in another sense, we don't know this at all. For me, passion everyday has to do with staying focused on Jesus, and his passion, and learning to have his passion be mine.

In the chapel at St. Anthony's, a craftsman has created the Sierra Nevada mountains and placed the Cross of Christ in the center. Flowing from the Cross is a shimering mosaic - symbolizing the river of life, the Holy Spirit, flowing into the world. The river rushes down the wall and then flows onto the carpet and down the platform, out to where we sit. It's a beautiful visual image of what Jesus said to the thirsty Samaritan woman: "indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14b). Letting the Spirit of God become a spring of water welling up within my soul and flowing out into the world -- passion. Every day.

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Time for Silence and Solitude

At the Springs there is time to be alone, attending to the sounds of the birds singing, and the river rushing down below, and to enjoy "being" with the Lord.

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Solitude and Silence

Dallas Willard speaks of solitude, silence and fasting as three practices that are especially helpful in making Sabbath rest real. I thought that was interesting. It's practicing silence and solitude at the Springs that not only provides a deep sense of rest while we are at the retreat, but also then enables us to enter into that place of rest even in the midst of a very busy life.

"We strongly need to see the manifest hand of God in what we are and what we do. We need to be sure HE is pulling the load, bearing the burden--which we are all too ready to assume is up to us alone. We must understand that He is in charge of the outcome of our efforts, and that the outcome will be good, right. And all of this is encompassed in one biblical term, "Sabbath." (The Great Omission, 34)

Living with an attitude of total rest in God will not happen automatically. We must practice laying everything down and walking away from it. We have to practice not talking. We have to practice silencing the inner noise. I love that at the Springs we have opportunity to learn how to leave behind all of our work and how to quiet all of the noise so that we can truly enter into God's rest.

The challenge is: we cannot bring our work with us to the Springs. It's tempting to think that we'll use the time to write an article or complete our Bible study. If we do this, true solitude and rest will not be found. We have to get away from our work.

Take an afternoon to walk the trails. Take an hour to reflect on the beauty of a wildflower or listen to the birds. Take some time to just sit in a chair and look at the valley and be open to the Lord and just be with Him. It can be quite a shock for those of us who are so busy doing ministry to learn how to come away in order to just be with the Lord. But once we've practiced solitude and silence, they become the most precious times for us...and truly, we can learn to bring the blessedness of that rest into our busy lives.

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Time

One of the wonderful gifts of the Springs is time. Time to consider who we are in our heart before God. Time to purposefully consider and experience the grace of God in Christ. Time to let the word of Christ transform and shape who we are. I don't know why we stay so busy at home, but it just seems impossible to find long stretches of time. I really value the hours of time for me to be alone with the Lord that are built into the retreat's agenda.

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Fasting

It's interesting to me that I find so much value in silence and solitude but only once a year or so fast...and I never fast at the Springs. In fact, I always find that I want to snack all of the time at the Springs. We laugh about chocolate being an essential part of spiritual retreating, but it's so nice to have a hot cup of coffee in the morning and good food. Maybe I should try fasting.

Willard talks about the purpose of fasting is so that "we may consciously experience the direct sustenance of God to our body and our whole person."

He says: Fasting is feasting. When we have learned to fast it will bring strength and joy, we won't be miserable (which is why Jesus told us not to look miserable--Jesus doesn't ever tell us to fake it). Fasting is a way of seeking and finding the actual Kingdom of God present and active in our lives. Fasting can give us a deeper sense of dependency and closeness to the Lord.

Maybe I should try fasting at the Springs sometime.

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Solitude, Silence, Reflection, Prayer

Come join a small group of women from diverse backgrounds and various Christian churches on a spiritual retreat.

We will have times of coming together for Biblical teaching, worship and prayer and then times when we will have lovely stretches of solitude for our personal devotional practices and prayer.

The Springs offers 3 tracks. In the first track, the leaders will walk you through how to have a personal retreat. There will be times of coming together as a group and then long stretches of time for you to spend time on your own with the Lord. The second track offers less structured program and more time for us to be alone with the Lord. The third track is totally on your own. It's for women who want to have three days with the Lord at a retreat center where other women are also retreating.

Women from all of the tracks are invited to chapel times where we have a short devotional thought from the Word and time to sing and worship together. Chapels move us from community times to times of solitude and silence. We meet for chapel the first thing in the morning (as we break our evening silence), at lunchtime, before dinner and as we end our day.

The retreat is held at a retreat center. We each have a private room and private bath so we can rest, take a nap, pray, and spend time with the Lord without interruption. There are lovely grounds at the retreat center, statues for contemplation and trails to walk, chair set about in lovely places to give us opportunity to be in nature, to reflect and read.

I hope you will consider joining us.

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St. Anthony's in April

We had a wonderful time at St. Anthony's once again. The wildflowers were in full bloom and I so enjoyed walking the grounds.
I arrived a day early so that I could personally retreat before the other women arrived. What a wonderful time for me to reconnect with the Lord.

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