He Chose Me

By Kim Bagato

On my first retreat at The Springs, I sensed great peace as I settled in. I’d contemplated what it would be like to spend time at a Catholic retreat center. The family I grew up in did not attend church every Sunday. We didn’t even go on Christmas or Easter. Therefore, my religious training was scant.
I had a lot to learn when introduced to Jesus in the early 1980s as a young adult. I still discover gaps in my understanding of religious traditions. The Stations of the Cross is one of those areas I didn’t know much about.

The first night of The Springs retreat we gathered in the chapel. My eyes were drawn to Jesus on the cross. I believe it was the first time I saw his humanness—He was a man. Jesus is God, but I saw him that night as human. It struck me how sad and hard and unnatural it looked to see him hanging there so vulnerable and in need of care. Memories appeared in my mind’s eye of my husband, son, dad, grandpa and friends I’d seen in hospitals, in pain, near death. Men—strong healthy men—injured, ill, vulnerable. They are the ones I lean on and look to and seeing them incapacitated is difficult for me.
Christ on the cross was a startling reminder of the pain he endured and the humility and abuse he met from men he could have overpowered.

He chose not to.
For me.
He.
Chose.
Me.

The following afternoon, I walked the path through the Stations of the Cross. I’d never done this before. Each pure white statue depicted a scene of Christ’s journey from trial to crucifixion and each seemed to emanate an historic peace. This bothered me. I’d read the gospel accounts, and my memory recalled the brutality of this course of events. These colorless sculptures left me with questions so I returned to the quietness of my room to study the scriptures and gain a better understanding of Christ’s final hours.

I did some research and discovered the titles and themes of each of the 14 Stations of the Cross and learned some background. I delved into my Bible searching for truth. (See Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23 and John 19.)

I found it.
Violent.
Harsh.
Abusive.

Quickly I realized that type of punishment couldn’t be fully reflected in cream-colored carvings. I’m uncertain if I’ll ever fully understand His horrendous yet supernatural sacrifice. That is not a pretty, holy, serene looking Jesus. He endured more than most of us will in a lifetime.
Deeply humbled and nearly in a state of shock, I allowed the gravity of that tragic injustice to soak deep. The profound truth of Christ’s unwavering expression of faithfulness, love and obedience to the Father’s will silenced my mind and granted me peace as I prayed:
Oh, God I don’t ever want to discount or squander your sacrifice and the unimaginable cost you paid to save my soul. It’s so valuable and heavy I can barely carry it.

© Kim Bagato 2011

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An Invitation - Come in April

AW Tozer writes: "The facts are that God is not silent, has never been silent. It is the nature of God to speak.

"The second Person of the Holy Trinity is called the Word. If you would follow on to know the Lord, come at once to the open Bible expecting it to speak to you. Do not come with the notion that it is a thing which you may push around at your convenience. It's more than a thing; it is a voice, a word, the very Word of the living God."  (from The Pursuit of God)

Statues at St.Anthony's Retreat Center

Come to The Springs Retreat for prayer and reflection and let the Living Word strengthen you as you contemplate the mystery of Good Friday and the Wonder of Easter Sunday.

Let Jesus enfold you in His love (God demonstrates His love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us).

It is the experiential knowledge of the Savior's love that will quiet your anxieties and fears, give you deep physical rest, and restore your soul as you enjoy the beauty of His creation.

Hear Jesus, the Living Word of God, inviting you to come away from the demands of your life so that you can spend a few days with Him.

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Chapel at St. Anthony's

Martha writes: "I thought you might enjoy seeing these photos I took inside the Chapel at St. Anthony Retreat Center. I thought the mural was magnificent, especially with all of its symbolism."

"Two weeks have passed already since we were all together at the Springs Retreat! The retreat was all I had hoped for, and more! I would like to express my appreciation to each one of you for the countless hours you spent in planning, preparing and praying for, and then facilitating, the retreat. I learned so much from every one of you. I'm grateful for this time, set apart, that I got to share with you and the other women on the retreat. I was blessed by the experience of being on the retreat and want to thank you all." -- Martha Deal

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Devotion

Time to Contemplate the Cross and the Love of God

Everywhere you go there are reminders of the Cross,

God's demonstration of his love for us

"Love the Lord your God with all your Heart, Mind, Soul, Strength"
St. Augustine wrote: Decide to love God and do what you please because when you love God, then what you will want to do is what will please the One you love.

I know I've used this quote at The Springs, but because of my life experience this week, now I just want to say, "Maybe." Because even when I really am loving God, I can quickly want to do my Bible study preparation or work on a Christian project and totally ignore spending any time truly loving Him and experiencing his love for me.

Living passionately in love with the Lord everyday begins with putting up a hedge and not letting work creep into my devotional time. Writing on this blog, preparing a Bible discussion, working on the questions for the panel discussion for the Return Conference has a very different focus from devotional time. It's so tempting for me to give up spending time just being with the Lord and focused on loving him -- in order to work on ministry.

The focus of my quiet time is very different if my goal is to increase my devotion to the Lord. If devotion is my goal then I nurture my heartfelt love and a deep sense of gratitude for who God is and for the gifts he has blessed me with.

Devotion comes from knowing His love and choice of me, even in my brokenness.
Devotion comes from seeing the glory of the goodness of His character and focusing on His glory in wordless prayer.
Devotion comes from knowing He is with me -- filling the universe but also filling me, and being alongside of me as my companion.

When we focus our prayerful attention on these truths, we experience a love and adoration and passion for the Lord. When we don't -- we don't. My desk work in preparation for ministry does not nurture my devotion. It's amazing how in love I can be with the Lord, and then decide in the morning to work on some aspect of preparation, and then the next morning do some preparation, and before I know it...my whole devotional life is shot. I've reduced my relationship with the Lord to a business partnership. And it takes intentional work to regain my devotion.

Love God and spend time loving Him always throughout the day. Everyday. What a challenge to let work, even Christian work, come second.

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