Drawing near to God

Sometimes we are afraid to draw near to God in prayer. Instead of coming close to him we pull away, clinging to our suspicion that He will not receive us.

Henri Nouwen encourages us: "Perhaps you can find your way to prayer by carefully listening to the words of the angels to Zechariah, Mary, the frightened shepherds, and the women at the tomb: "Don't be afraid." Don't be afraid of the One who wants to enter your most intimate space and invite you to let go of what you are clinging to so anxiously...

Don't be afraid to offer your hate, bitterness, disappointment, to the One who is love and only love. Even if you know you have little to show, don't be afraid to let it be seen. Often you will catch yourself wanting to receive your loving God by putting on a semblance of beauty, by holding back everything dirty and spoiled, by clearing just a little path that looks proper. But that is a fearful response, forced and artificial. Such a response exhausts you and turns your prayer into torment."

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The Sweet Spot

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." That's the goal of our lives and that's once of the fundamental purposes of The Springs. How do we live with passion for the Lord every day?

Passion seems to be about having a strong desire to see something happen. Passion is a feeling-- such a strong feeling that I act on it. Passion leads me to say, "yes," and fuels my days with energy, drive, vitality, growth.

I've never seen so clearly how essential it is to get my passion, my feelings and emotions, all lined up with what I know I want to do. When what my mind wants to do, or thinks I should do, is at odds with what I feel like doing, the chances my mind will win over time is slim. That's when life becomes hard. That's when I'm struggling and feeling the life drained out of me. I'm in a constant battle, feeling tempted, distracted. When I want to read my Bible, but feel like cleaning the house, will I read my Bible? Maybe. But not passionately. If I live for very long not feeling like engaging in spiritual things -- that's when I start having my "obligations" not my "devotions." I can live there -- but it's a tough spot. (I think this experience is more an experience of resistance, than an experience of "the desert" - when we feel like God's Presence has been withdrawn. The dynamics of the "dark night of the soul" are all different from what I'm thinking about in this reflection.)

Getting interested in some aspect of the Christian life (recently for me it has been learning how to share my faith using conversational approaches to evangelism) and exploring with increasing curiosity all aspects of something brings zest to my life.

I love exploring a question (what is the gospel?) or learning a new skill (graphic design). I never have all the time I wish I had to pursue it, which is a good thing, I think. It keeps me hungry for more.

When I believe God has called me to the task, then I am even more passionate to pursue it.

There is a sweet spot of vitality for me when my feelings, my call, and what I know I ought to do all converge. When I have a strong desire to pursue something, I believe that I have been called by God to accomplish it, and I know it's what I ought to do -- wow! I'm energized, passionate, sleeves-rolled-up and running.

How can I live with passion everyday? Getting to the sweet spot is key.

Someone wrote: "You only lose energy when life becomes dull in your mind. You don't have to be tired and bored. Get interested in something. Get absolutely enthralled in something. Throw yourself into it with abandon."

I think for me one of the keys to spiritual vitality is finding the sweet spot where curiosity, call, commitment all converge. It is possible to get our feelings aligned with our call and commitment so that we want to do what we need to do. By paying attention to my passion, and what makes me want to do something, I've discovered ways to approach my spiritual life so that rather than fighting myself and battling a sense of resistance, I'm wanting to do what I know I should.

Living in the sweet spot is just the opposite of ho-hum, business as usual, dull, routine, bored, going through the motions, tired, lukewarm. I love living in the sweet spot. It's worth spending time to figure out what help you to get there.

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Following

"I will follow you, but first let me go..." Lk 9:59, 61

I've always read this passage and been focused on why Jesus would have a problem with someone wanting to bury his father or taking the time to say good-by to his family. This morning what stood out to me was "First let me go..." Don't we always have something that we want to do first? Jesus, I'll follow, but first I need to send an email, clean the house, finish school, raise my kids. We can go through our life thinking we are following Jesus, writing books about following Jesus...but never actually following Him because there's always something that we need to do just now...then we'll follow.

Following Christ. Being on a Mission. Living with Passion -- all begin now. There's an urgency that can't be put off. First let me follow -- then everything else will be taken care of.

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Our Hearts need Assistance

"Only the heart knows how to find what is precious."

Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Is there a distinction between heart, will, spirit? Maybe philosophers can separate them, but in my experience, I think they are all words that refer to one and the same thing. Heart, will, spirit are all words that seek to express what is fundamental, the core components of all of us.

It is from our core (heart, will, spirit) that love for God arises and living in such a way that expresses our love for God takes shape. It is the formation of the core that will totally transform from the inside how I live and worship. So how do we open the door to our heart, to the core of our being, to the most fundamental aspect of who I am?

Maybe it just begins with a prayer of invitation -- welcoming the God of the universe to come in and form us. We are in desperate need.

For centuries spiritual people have known that we need to pay attention to our heart. It is who we are and leads us to what we will give our lives to pursue.

We tend to think that our heart is what it is. We tend to think that we have no control over it. But if it is our heart that leads us, then I need to pay attention to what my heart is feeling. I need to run to its assistance if it's becoming weary or I'm beginning to doubt. If I'm lacking the energy to initiate, create, pursue what I want, something is wrong. I shouldn't just press on and ignore my inner life. If a waste basket was on fire, I wouldn't shove it into the closet and go about my business. I'd drop everything to take care of that waste basket. It should be the same with my heart. If I'm growing cold, distracted, grumpy, I need to pay attention. Run to my heart's assistance. Talk to somebody. Reflect in my journal about what's going on.

Often, under all of the excuses and resistance, is a disappointment with God.

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Resistance

Why is living with passion for the Lord every day such a challenge?

Certainly having a rule of life that helps me to do what I want to do -- rather than pursue all of the things that call to me -- helps me to stay focused.

Having a prayer chair that is away from my computer helps. But if I get side-tracked and go to my desk -- why do I always need to do something (send an email, file a paper, put away a book, revise my website, prepare a Bible study, read a book, watch a video, write a note to a friend) all important, all "ministry" but none of it is really time with the Lord.

Over and over I find myself wrestling to sit down with the Lord and just be in His Presence and experience His grace and love and enjoy my relationship with Him. Today, cleaning up the bedroom, bathroom, my desk, the hall closet all called me. We have company coming. So what! Why am I so pulled everywhere else but to be with the Lord? Father, please forgive this wandering heart. I even exercised this morning! Why? Why do I resist?

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