He Chose Me

By Kim Bagato

On my first retreat at The Springs, I sensed great peace as I settled in. I’d contemplated what it would be like to spend time at a Catholic retreat center. The family I grew up in did not attend church every Sunday. We didn’t even go on Christmas or Easter. Therefore, my religious training was scant.
I had a lot to learn when introduced to Jesus in the early 1980s as a young adult. I still discover gaps in my understanding of religious traditions. The Stations of the Cross is one of those areas I didn’t know much about.

The first night of The Springs retreat we gathered in the chapel. My eyes were drawn to Jesus on the cross. I believe it was the first time I saw his humanness—He was a man. Jesus is God, but I saw him that night as human. It struck me how sad and hard and unnatural it looked to see him hanging there so vulnerable and in need of care. Memories appeared in my mind’s eye of my husband, son, dad, grandpa and friends I’d seen in hospitals, in pain, near death. Men—strong healthy men—injured, ill, vulnerable. They are the ones I lean on and look to and seeing them incapacitated is difficult for me.
Christ on the cross was a startling reminder of the pain he endured and the humility and abuse he met from men he could have overpowered.

He chose not to.
For me.
He.
Chose.
Me.

The following afternoon, I walked the path through the Stations of the Cross. I’d never done this before. Each pure white statue depicted a scene of Christ’s journey from trial to crucifixion and each seemed to emanate an historic peace. This bothered me. I’d read the gospel accounts, and my memory recalled the brutality of this course of events. These colorless sculptures left me with questions so I returned to the quietness of my room to study the scriptures and gain a better understanding of Christ’s final hours.

I did some research and discovered the titles and themes of each of the 14 Stations of the Cross and learned some background. I delved into my Bible searching for truth. (See Matthew 27, Mark 15, Luke 23 and John 19.)

I found it.
Violent.
Harsh.
Abusive.

Quickly I realized that type of punishment couldn’t be fully reflected in cream-colored carvings. I’m uncertain if I’ll ever fully understand His horrendous yet supernatural sacrifice. That is not a pretty, holy, serene looking Jesus. He endured more than most of us will in a lifetime.
Deeply humbled and nearly in a state of shock, I allowed the gravity of that tragic injustice to soak deep. The profound truth of Christ’s unwavering expression of faithfulness, love and obedience to the Father’s will silenced my mind and granted me peace as I prayed:
Oh, God I don’t ever want to discount or squander your sacrifice and the unimaginable cost you paid to save my soul. It’s so valuable and heavy I can barely carry it.

© Kim Bagato 2011

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An Invitation - Come in April

AW Tozer writes: "The facts are that God is not silent, has never been silent. It is the nature of God to speak.

"The second Person of the Holy Trinity is called the Word. If you would follow on to know the Lord, come at once to the open Bible expecting it to speak to you. Do not come with the notion that it is a thing which you may push around at your convenience. It's more than a thing; it is a voice, a word, the very Word of the living God."  (from The Pursuit of God)

Statues at St.Anthony's Retreat Center

Come to The Springs Retreat for prayer and reflection and let the Living Word strengthen you as you contemplate the mystery of Good Friday and the Wonder of Easter Sunday.

Let Jesus enfold you in His love (God demonstrates His love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us).

It is the experiential knowledge of the Savior's love that will quiet your anxieties and fears, give you deep physical rest, and restore your soul as you enjoy the beauty of His creation.

Hear Jesus, the Living Word of God, inviting you to come away from the demands of your life so that you can spend a few days with Him.

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Reflection

I just learned that the stations of the cross come to us from the early Christians living in Jerusalem at the time of Christ's crucifixion. Obviously, the people who were there that day talked about what happened and each of them saw Jesus' procession from where he was sentenced to where he was crucified. As pilgrims came to Jerusalem, people would walk them down the route and tell their stories. Christians weren't allowed to publically worship along the route, but in twos and threes they would walk the route on Easter and remember. Over the years, Christian pilgrims would come to Jerusalem and would want to be shown the sites,so the monks would show them. Travel was expensive and as Muslims controlled the city, worship of Christ wasn't easy. Finally, someone got the idea to recreate the sites in Europe...and the stations of the Cross were born. St. Anthony's has lovely statues and place to reflect on Christ's life and passion.

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