Friday, October 21, 2016

Sacred Solitude

I can get freaked out when I'm all alone. Once I was telling a close friend what a scared-y-cat I am, and found out that before she became a Christian, she went to bed with a bottle of vodka and a loaded gun--even when the kids were home. I realized that I wasn't the only one that didn't like to be all alone.

So driving four hours by myself, in and out of cell phone coverage, especially driving after dark down the windy unlit highway those last 30 miles to get to St. Anthony's was unnerving. I tried to be brave, but it freaked me out. I was always so glad to drive up their driveway, having arrived. I hate being overcome with fear.

And then one day as I was driving to The Springs and I was overwhelmed with joy. Euphoria set in. It puzzled me. I had no idea what was going on, so I knocked on Sister Danelle's door, and asked if she had time to talk. She gently asked a few questions, and listened. I told her I was worried that something was wrong, I never felt free when I was alone. She said, "Perhaps there's nothing wrong, perhaps you are learning to trust." I knew as soon as she said it, she was right. I was learning to trust. I was being changed as the "with-ness" of God became a reality for me.

I was free because I knew I wasn't alone. Through prayer, my lonely place had become sacred Solitude.
>

No comments: